A bit of winter introspection

I've always been very introspective. I think it has something to do with my brain that never stops thinking a million miles a minute and the fact that I am very critical of myself. I've always been driven, and sought out things that would aid my personal development, and been quite aware of where I'm at, and what I'm feeling at any given moment. That and I like to write and record. These traits naturally complement 'introspection' or the examination or observation of one's own mental and emotional processes.

There are a few times of year where introspection seems to creep up a bit more overtly than others. Making its way from the back of my ever playing mental tape to the forefront. Commanding solitude and time dedicated simply to reflection, introspection and thought as the main event. September, marked for years as a fresh start, a new school year, new challenges and new beginnings. And December marked by cold and crisp icy mornings, the ability to see your breath as the street crunches beneath your feet and you gather with friends and family to welcome a new year and say goodbye to the past.

So here I am, being introspective and reflecting on the year I’ve had. The year we’ve all had. I’ve heard from friends, from family, from strangers that 2014 was a particularly rough year. An unhealthy and unsupportive work environment saw me change jobs and enter a new field in May, to be followed by a stressful and all time consuming municipal campaign to which I devoted my every waking moment and squeezed every last drop of energy into. Coming off the campaign to an unstable political environment saw me forced to assume a new position in a new part of the province that will test my skills, patience and perseverance. The sudden unexpected death of my great-uncle, my partner’s brother being diagnosed with cancer, addictions issues effecting family members added to the stress of an already heavy and stressful years full of change. Buying a house with my siblings and the help of my late grandfather who left us money to invest, moving in with my brothers and my partner, getting a dog (Mikko), and feeling torn between where I am now and where I want and need to go.

This year has been heavy, and its been hard. But in heavy moments where it feels as though I’ll be crushed by the sheer weight of it I often feel the most strength because (even though I must remind myself) I have yet to be buried alive. Time and time again, I step up with the weight on my shoulders and figure out how to take steps to reducing the weight, and I continue to take steps (sometimes tiny steps) until it feels less heavy and I can see that it’s going to be okay, and that I’ve proven myself again to be perseverant, determined, and that nothing can crush my will for too long.

My little sister, Sierra (18), is currently in France working as an au pair for a family that lives on a ski hill and runs the restaurant. She left last week but is having a tough time dealing with homesickness, missing family, and battling with thoughts that she is not strong enough to tackle the challenge she has chosen for herself. I see a lot of myself in her. She took a chance (as I often do) to thrust herself abruptly into the unknown. Got swept up in the excitement of the change, the challenge, the adventure and barrelled on ahead full speed. Now, in quiet moments, she finds herself wondering “what the hell am I doing?”

I can’t help but remember feeling the same way when I was on the last flight into Tegucigalpa for in 2010. It sunk in as to what I was about to do. Live in a foreign place where I didn’t speak the language, a place I was told was dangerous, and work with an NGO that I knew nothing about and knew no one. I would have to learn a language, find a place to live, develop relationships, make friends, conduct research, and do it completely alone. Surely I must be out of my mind, or have seriously overestimated my own abilities. I felt suspended in freefall. My breath catching in my throat and forming a lump in the bottom of my stomach. But we know how it worked out. I learned Spanish. I found a place to live with a family I grew to love. I made friends, developed relationships, completed research and helped the NGO develop a program to engage youth which I then delivered. I went out on my own and took buses, and ferries, and hoped on the back of mopeds and saw the country. I visited friends in El Salvador and tried my hand at surfing. In fact, 4 years ago today I was on a bus headed to Santa Rosa de Copan to see a new part of the country, welcomed by a new friend and her family.

Some days, it feels as though the “Delaney” who had the guts and the confidence to embark on that type of adventure is a different person. That if tasked with the same thing today I would be unable to deliver. But I know that’s untrue. I know that whatever the obstacle, the challenge, the upset, or the adventure I will approach it the same way. Figuring out what I need to do, what needs to get done, taking it apart, and making sure it happens. By playing to my strengths, by giving myself time and allowing myself to feel weak and sad, but reminding myself of my proven track record of strength, determination and courage.

I know my sister will figure out, in her own way in her own time, how to do just that because I see that in her as well, even if she doesn’t. Learning about ourselves, being honest with ourselves, and pushing ourselves to do better and be better is one of the best gifts we can give ourselves. A gift that sometimes hurts more than we’d like it to as it can only be found in moments of discomfort and isolation, but a gift that we should cherish none the less.


In reflection,
Delaney C.

Not All Men

It’s Monday. I’m going home at 6pm and a middle aged man and a teenage boy are the only people left on the bus with me. I consider the fact that because the driver is also a man I am the only person left on the bus with the correct genetic makeup for boobs. I’m automatically scared, scared because of my own anatomy. I wonder how old I was when I realized that my own body was going to be the cause of the constant anxiety and fear I feel in situations like this. I get off at the last stop and the older man smiles at me while following me up the street. His smile drips, drips, drips and my heart is pounding, pounding, pounding. He turns off down another road, but I run the rest of the way home.

Not all men.

I’m at home on a Tuesday, beginning to plan the travels I want to go on next year. I dream of wandering the streets and meeting strangers. I just can’t wait to escape the city I’ve lived in for 17 long years. But… my mum is hesitant. She’s forever worried about the danger that being a young girl traveling alone can bring. I’ll be alone and she’s scared. Surely I’m invincible. I feel invincible. But I know, I know this danger is real and I can’t help but think to myself, if I feel unsafe in my own city, how am i going to feel in a strange place with strange men who don’t speak the same language as me? If I was my brother planning this, I would probably just be wondering if European girls are going to be hot.

Not all men.

Wednesday is a beautiful sunny day but I’ve always been told that I don’t have a “nice enough body” to wear a bikini on the beach. Ever since I was 6 years old I’ve thought that having tummy fat was ugly. That skin that doesn’t have a perfectly golden glow is undesirable. I amble to a clear patch of sand in my one piece and I can feel pairs of eyes latching onto me. Hairy men in speedos who I don’t look twice at eat into my body with their stares. I’m a piece of meat. I am a piece of meat? I am here for their amusement. Please don’t let me be eaten alive.

Not all men.

Thursday night two friends and I are walking to our god damn school dance when we hear “Jesus look at you! You sluts heading to a pole?” These words snarl out of the mouth of a respectably dressed man and we stop in horror. Shivers roll up my back in fear. It’s dark. We are alone. What. Do. We. Do??? One of us pulls the finger back. I can never be sure how quickly a sexist man can get angry so we walk quickly away. We’re angry, so so angry. But also so… deflated. I wonder if we deserve this shame.

Not all men.

Sitting on the internet, Friday night and scrolling down my Facebook newsfeed:

“Haha, good job at the game today bro. You RAPED them!”
“Damn with tits like that, you’re asking for it :P”
Another sexist comment…
Another sexist comment…
Another sexist comment…
I’m shrinking and shrinking and shrinking and I want to CRY because these boys don’t realize how small they make me feel with just pressing a few keys. I see these boys on the streets, I talk to these boys, I laugh with these boys. Dear GOD, dear GOD i hope these boys don’t think actions speak louder than words…

Not all men.

Three rules that have been drilled into me since I was young run through my mind at 1.30am on a Satur… Sunday Morning:

-Don’t ever talk to strange men
-Don’t ever be alone at night in a strange place
-Don’t ever get into a car with a stranger
I break all 3 of these laws as I pull open the taxi door. Making light conversation with the driver, he doesn’t see my sweaty hand clutching the small pocket knife I keep hidden on me at all times. He doesn’t even realize the fear I feel at his mere presence. He cannot comprehend it, he never will. How easy would this 15 minute car ride be if I was born a boy?

Not all men.
It comes to Sunday, another snoozy, sleepy, Sunday and someone has the AUDACITY to tell me not all men are rapists. I say nothing.

I’m a 17 year old girl.
When I am walking alone and it’s dark, it’s all men.
When I am in a car with a man I don’t know well, it’s all men.
When men drunkenly leer at me on the streets, it’s all men.
When a boy won’t leave me alone at a party, it’s all men.
Not all men are rapists. But for a young girl like me? Every one of them has the potential to be.

Not.
All.
Men.

My sister, Sierra, found this on tumblr and shared it with me. The writer does an excellent job at articulating how as a women I know it's Not All Men who perpetuate sexism, violence against women,and who make public space a dangerous place for me as a women to occupy.

I recently got in an argument had a discussion with my 24 y/o brother who was frustrated with "being painted with the same brush" as men who are sexist and oppressive when he himself is not. He challenged me saying, "if people are going to assume I am sexist or oppressive simply because I'm white and male, then what's the incentive" for him to make sure that he is not. I had trouble articulating my thoughts with him aside from saying that it's the right thing to do, and that as a women I'm judged every day due to sexism, and we don't always get to decide how people see us or perceive us to be.

One of the differences being that my safety is constantly in question and top of mind, while his feelings may be the only thing to be harmed. He routinely walks home from work in the exchange and downtown to Wolesely and West Broadway at 2 am. An experience he finds calming, enjoyable, and freeing for me is experience filled with anxiety, concern for my safety leaving me hyper aware of my surroundings, going out of my way to stay on well lit streets, and switching to the opposite side of the street to avoid other groups of people. I'd like to think I'm overreacting, being more cautious then necessary, but on more then one hundreds of occasions I've been yelled at, grabbed, and made to feel uncomfortable and unsafe.

I remember one evening leaving Old Market Square after closing down the Jazz Festival and finishing my volunteer shift. I started walking towards my apartment at the corner of River and Donald feeling content with the evening, the fact that at 2:30am it was warm, people were milling about, and I was going to meet a friend and have a beer. As I approached portage avenue a man came up to me and started talking to me. I kept walking while being polite, making it clear that I was headed on my way. I wasn't scared until he grabbed my arm. He grabbed my arm forcefully saying something along the lines of "you're pretty, you're alone, and we should get to know each other."

I'm not small by any means, but I remember feeling terrified. Easily overpowered. I managed to yank my arm out of his hand, kept walking forward and he lost interest. A minuted later, shaken up, I saw a cab and jumped in not wanting to take any more chances that evening. I hoped in the back and as I was giving my address realized the male cab driver was accompanied by a male friend whom sat beside him in the front seat. Again, I immediately felt unsettled, outnumbered and that there was the potential for danger. Was I safer on the street? Or safer in a cab? The ride was short. I hopped out blocks before my apartment, figuring I would take my chances in my own neighbourhood. I remember getting home to my apartment, double locking the door, sliding down to the floor with my back against a wall...and I still didn't feel safe.

As this writer eloquently says, its Not All Men, but every man has the potential, and sometimes I'm not willing to take the chance so that someones feelings don't get hurt.

With anger and frustration,
Delaney C.

Refusing to sink

Well, well, well. Here I am just about to enter into the 6 month of the year, and I haven't made a blog post since August which goes against the little list I made in January which had me planning on writing more among other things that I had identified would assist me in being a healthier, happier version of myself. Delaney 2.0, Delaney14, Delaney new and improved.

I’m not a fan of ‘New Year’s Resolutions”, but I am a fan of direction and goals so I came up with a list of things I wanted to accomplish in the 2014 year, a list of things I wanted to do more of, and a list of things I wanted to do less.

I am a huge fan and strong believer in personal (and professional) development. In fact I am always reflecting and analyzing myself, my actions, my perspective on a specific situation and identifying weak points, areas where I could improve, and occasionally identifying strengths…some times to my own detriment. This behaviour, at least in my mind, has made me hyper aware of who I am as a person (and a professional) and kept me aware of where I want to go and the path I need to be on to get there. I constantly seek out experiences and opportunities for learning and growth whether it be hands on in a volunteer capacity, joining a committee or project at work, or observing those in leadership and managerial roles to figure out what I like and do not like about their approach and how it would complement my own. Always learning, always growing…and deeply afraid of stagnating, staying in the same place, failing to thrive.

Along with writing more (something I love to do but don’t often make the time for) I made a goal to read more which is something that doesn't always make the cut after finally getting how following a long day but something I am so happy to do.

In June 2011 I made the intentional decision to stick around Winnipeg, to stay in Canada, to pursue a relationship, to put down some roots and to see if they would grow. And grow they did. Its May 2014, and I’ve learned a lot in the last 3 years, I’ve grown a lot in the last three years, and the relationships I wanted to pursue and develop have become strong in ways that I could not have anticipated being possible…and making it more than a bit difficult to take off again.

Unable to decide on a graduate program that was a good fit, I decided that looking for a new job might be the way to go to push myself outside of my comfort zone, hone some skills I want to develop, and explore an area that I have been interested in for a long time. Which has led me to where I am now. Starting a new position, in a new line of work, daunted by what seems like a mountain of learning and firsts ahead. I’m feeling very overwhelmed and like I may have taken a big bite of something I will be unable to chew however I have been in this situation before (as I keep reminding myself) and that it will get better as I feel more comfortable because change and transitions are always hard (I’m trying to have a gentler and more kind mental tape as well).

With summer on the doorstep and new challenges ahead I am going to channel the sun who regardless of the gloomiest days rises the next.

Growing, growing, growing,
Delaney C.

Kony2012 and the 'Social Media Activism' Boom

I'm happy that people are becoming aware of an issue. It might be a starting point, but before 'starting' anything, be critical, get the facts, make a thoughtful educated decision, and then do more than share a video that's gone viral, do more than put up posters or tell your friends, just do more. Explore more issues, and make sure that you're paying attention to what's happening in Canada, in our own country, and across the world as well, not just when its 'trending' but every day, because when the KONY2012 videos stop being posted it doesn't mean the situation is over, or the cause no longer worth while, it just means that people have gotten bored.

Like I said, I'm all up for people getting aware, getting involved, getting passionate, and wanting to make a difference. I would never shame someone for wanting to start, everyone has their own starting points after all, and I've been involved with some programs, and donated money to some agencies, that I would chose not to given the information and experience I have now. However sometimes 'starting' something without knowing all the facts can be extremely detrimental. I don't have a better answer, I don't have a solution. But just because I don't, doesn't mean that you should support KONY 2012 just because it's something else or something better. Something isn't always better than nothing. Sometimes it's worse.

I've debated the idea of 'social media activism' the importance of raising awareness and what amazing and popularized tools (twitter, tumblr, facebook, youtube, THE INTERNET) my generation has at our fingertips to be connected across the world instantly and how we typically use these amazing, and powerful tools to gossip about the Kardashian's, complain about having to work late, or follow the newest trends, and don't even come close to tapping into its full potential as a tool that can quite possibly change the world as we know it.

My friend Rayannah Kroeker summed up my feelings pretty well when she posted her comments on Facebook, the very place that this video http://vimeo.com/37119711 has exploded over the last two days, going viral and eliciting many different responses from my varied Facebook friends.

"I have never seen my newsfeed so covered with a social justice issue before. People care. People are learning about the LRA. And I know that those who are posting about KONY are doing it with good intentions. And those intentions give me hope.

I would love to feel that this campaign will lead to a Uganda where every person young or old can find opportunity, or better yet, create it.... I'd love to feel that this is going to drive real and lasting change.

But I don't.

Instead, I feel that this campaign is offering a simple feel-good solution to an extremely complicated and deep-rooted conflict. I am afraid that this solution may do more harm than good. I worry that people sitting at home on their computers have a greater say in what the solution should be than those who live in Uganda. I worry that the voices are being wrongly weighted. I worry that this sort of simple feel-good approach will dominate the way in which people participate in social justice.

I feel that this campaign is distracting. Distracting from the real challenges and progress going on in Uganda today. Distracting from other current atrocities whose propaganda machine is not so well oiled.

I feel this campaign is wasteful. From the mass production of propaganda materials which on April 21st will litter the streets of North-America, to the money of Invisible Children's revenue which is spent on its staff's salaries and travel expenses.

I feel. I feel. I feel. This campaign focuses on the way we feel and react to the horrific information presented to us in the film rather than truly trying to empathize with, represent and understand those enduring these horrors in Norther Uganda.

I feel that this campaign repeatedly shows us the face of an adorable five year old american boy and gives us only one Ugandan voice - a uni-dimensional victim.

I am glad people are being moved by the story of someone born half a world away. But does that story have to be sensationally exaggerated for us to pay attention? Do the facts have to be skewed? Does it have to be packaged with easy solutions? Does it have to come in HD? Does it have to make us feel as though we made a massive difference with nothing but the click of a button? Does it have to offer us a homogenous Africa(is not a country)? Does it have to be in storybook format with bad guys, heros and victims?"

I have no doubt that the people sharing this video, getting excited about social justice and making change have their hearts in the right place. It might be the first time that these people have been made aware of the atrocities going on in the world, and it is great that a dialogue has begun and that people are talking about it...but its not good enough. That's not the pessimist in me speaking, that's the realist. Its simply not enough to share a viral video, put up posters, donate your profile picture, or twitter feed.

Be critical, act with perseverance, realize that easy answers aren't always the best (if they were, we would solve a lot more global issues), be motivated, think outside and whatever you do.....ALWAYS learn two (both, all, as many as you can) sides of the story, it will help you make educated decisions, come up with more complete and holistic suggestions of solutions, act with innovation and think outside of the box.

I don't have the answers. I've made that clear, and I don't claim to have them. What I do have is questions, roughly a million of them, and an unquenchable thirst for knowledge. A hope that I'll be able to live in a place, in a world where people are aware and care about each other in their own countries and across the world. Where we use technology to connect the world and make positive social change rather than find out whose dating who in Hollywood. Where apathy is a thing of the past and where critical thought is not only encouraged but expected.

Two of my cents,
Delaney C.

Issue: Corruption

The issue of corruption (especially in developing countries) has been taking up a lot of space in my brain lately. While in Honduras I worked with a Non-governmental Organization full of talented, intelligent, passionate people who were great at what they did, and loved it. I mean really cared about what they were doing, really believed in it--and it worked. The programs, the projects they are working in small communities, in tiny villages and aldeas made up of campisinos and farmers, but their programs and projects will never succeed nationally, or even in larger cities like Juticalpa, because of the brick wall and hindering force that is corruption. Corruption occurs in Honduras (and many other countries across the globe) in many different mediums, and until the issue of corruption is addressed and dealt with the issues of natural resources management, education, (gang)violence, drug trafficking ect. will never be able to addressed--effectively anyways.

Many people site education as the key to development and a better situation (for a country, for an individual, for a people), and I wouldn't argue against that, but I would stress the importance of dealing with the corruption as well, because corruption is most definitely present in the education system of many countries effecting issues of accessibility, quality etc.

Okay, corruption is a big road block to successful development...now what? Although I am very frustrated with the issue of corruption relating to development, but what frustrates me more is when 'outsiders' go into communities, go into countries and try to impose their ideals, values, and way of life on the people living within those territories. I am strongly against structural readjustment policies, external government reforms, and large broad paintbrush style solutions conjured by someone external to the community to be effected. I don't think that these big end of all poverty save the world in 5 simple steps its so easy style plans are functional, effective or practical and I think that these theories might actually make actual effective and successful development more difficult to come by. Because our society is based on things that are convenient easy and procure big results with little effort (or change in our own personal lives) these notions are extremely popular but offer skewed and unrealistic goals that people accept without thought--especially when they leave a warm fuzzy feeling in the individual.

Take the Millennium Development Goals (MDGs) for example. Eradicate extreme poverty and hunger, Achieve universal primary education, Promote gender equality and empower women, Reduce child mortality rate, Improve maternal health, Combat HIV/AIDS, malaria, and other diseases, Ensure environmental sustainability, and Develop a global partnership for development by 2015. I will not argue that those aren't great goals, they most definitely are, but they are HUGE goals, and by 'committing' to achieve ALL OF THEM by the year 2015 is hugely unrealistic, oversimplifies the issues and allows politicians off the hook to actually implement programs, projects, and plans that target these goals--focusing on several large goals instead of starting small, and focusing on specific issues is a common trend that gets votes (for politicians looking for re-election), but doesn't necessarily get things done.


Check out these books:

Confessions of an Economic Hit Man-I have yet to read this bad boy, but I watched the documentary and the book is on the top of my reading list. Take it with a grain of salt, but likely has some truth.
http://www.amazon.com/Confessions-Economic-Hit-John-Perkins/dp/0452287081/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1296543376&sr=1-1

White Mans Burden-I would recommend this book to anyone and everyone that would be foolish enough to ask me for a suggestion. An easy enough of a read for anyone (not just development majors) to understand, filled with great colourful examples, and closely aligns with the type of development that I favour.
http://www.amazon.com/White-Mans-Burden-Efforts-Little/dp/0143038826/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1296543415&sr=1-1

The End of Poverty-On the contrary, this author supports a more simplified, fix the world in 5 simple steps, broad paintbrush style of development that I don't necessarily support. Still an interesting read with a different perspective, with an intro from BONO how could you go wrong?
http://www.amazon.com/End-Poverty-Economic-Possibilities-Time/dp/0143036580/ref=pd_sim_b_1

Have fun when you can, Think all the time
Delaney C.

15 buses, 2 ferries, several car rides and many memories later

I am back in Juticalpa for my last week and a half before returning to my home and native land with very mixed feelings. My time in Honduras has been amazing, although an amazing that is very different than you would use to describe a vacation, an evening out with friends, a second date, or a concert you've waited a long time to see and I'm not sure I'll be able to effectively articulate that aspect of my internship but I'll try my best to do so in a later post. I've learned so much about so many things that it seems impossible to have only been here for a short 4 1/2 months. I've been able to see some amazing things, meet some amazing inspiring people, and have had some amazing experiences (not all good ones, but ones that will be a part of me forever), and ironically now its the uncertainty of what happens next that has me a little freaked out to return to a city I have known my whole life full of friends and family with open arms and smiling faces.

Unfortunately last Thursday something a little bit scary happened, occurring just 10 minutes away from the city I live in and on a highway that I take frequently. I'm not naive, I know that Honduras is/can be a dangerous place, but this is a little more close to home for me than the shootings that have occurred inside of the town during my time in Honduras because its a route I take often and a time (while taking the bus) that I have no control over what happens to me once I get on. Since returning to Juticapla I have talked to my Honduran family about the incidence and they told me that the town is really tense and the streets are even more dangerous at night. I'm hoping that the next week will be as uneventful (safety wise) as the last 4 1/2 months and that as long as I continue to be smart, I'll stay safe.

http://edition.cnn.com/2011/WORLD/americas/01/07/honduras.bus.shooting/index.html

LWF shut down for Christmas and I had the amazing opportunity to explore other departments (provinces) of Honduras and spend the holidays with Sandra (my wonderful coworker from Teguic.) and her family in Santa Rosa de Copan. Santa Rosa is cold! and it would have been useful to have a scarf, touque and mittens. Her mother is the sweetest fiercest little old lady, and I enjoyed helping her make pan (to eat with cafe) and her nephew Emilio had a huge crush on me, that may or may not have been mutual. Sandra took me on walks up and down her cobble stoned streets showing me important buildings, and her favourite places to grab a coffee and read a book. She tried to teach me the difference between Salsa and Meringue(sp?) and after many late nights dancing in her living room with her attention seeking but adorable niece Fernanda I may just have figured it out. Christmas was great however the only tradition I was able to keep alive was waking up on Christmas morning with a hangover--guess that one will have to stick around for a couple of more years. Sorry Mom. We went over to Sandra's Brother's house for Christmas dinners and a house full of friends an family. We had nancatamales, rice, and some special Christmas dish with specially prepared pork. There was music, dancing, and too many shots. The firecrackers started at around 8pm and lasted until early into the morning. Why Hondurans are obsessed with firecrackers (fireworks without the pretty colours) is beyond me but men--grown men--are in the streets daily shooting these things off hour after hour. I must be missing something, If you can't beat them, join them--Ill have to give it a try before I come home.

I also really enjoyed maneuvering around the country via bus all by my lonesome and I have come to dislike the term "Chicken Bus" given to colorful modified and decorated US school bus and transit bus that transports goods and people between communities here in Honduras, as well as other parts of the world. I've been on a million of these buses, and although I can only speak for the section of Honduras that I live in, I have yet to see a chicken (or any form of livestock) on any of the buses, but even if I had I would still feel uncomfortable by the term. As a foreigner it might seem weird or different to see some of the things transported on these buses, however a car is a luxury that many Canadians (especially those living in remote rural areas) have that does not exist in many other parts of the world and if you could see all the weird and possibly freaky things going into those cars and being transported behind closed (car)doors from store to home you'd probably be just as shocked and surprised. I think that terming these buses, often the only way of transportation to rural and remote areas, after livestock is ethnocentric, small minded, and demeaning to the cultures that use them and takes away from the fact that they are efficient (relatively speaking) and a great cost effective way to get from point A to point B while having the opportunity to take in the beautiful countryside.

While taking a bus back to Santa Rosa de Copan after visiting the Mayan ruins in Copan a man started talking to me in English. This happens quite regularly, as though simply knowing English forges a great bond between us, and usually I don't mind chatting and helping someone practice their English however this time after about twenty minutes the man (who was about my age and apparently lives and works in Hollywood) started typing things in Spanish on his phone to show me so I could practice my Spanish, things like "You are so pretty" "I want you", then after getting off the phone with Sandra (letting her know that I was close, and letting him know that someone was waiting for me) he grabbed my phone to get my number and then said, "You are my Canadian girlfriend now, I need to take a picture of you to show my family, you can meet them tomorrow." Bahah Luckily for me the bus was just pulling into the dirt patch that serves as a terminal so I jumped into the isle insuring there were several people in between us, hopped into a cab, and sped away...although I couldn't avoid his calls that continued for two weeks even though I failed to answer even once. O Honduran courtship how I will miss thee once I am back on Canadian soil.

I have no doubt my last week here will fly by as I try to finish my research, pack up my room, say good bye to my new friends and family and embark on the 48 hour journey that will take me home to the frozen tundra close to my heart that is My Winnipeg. I may have to stop traveling after this because my heart is getting stretched pretty thin trying to reach so many people in so many places all at the same time. Either that or I'll have to figure out a way to teleport to make visiting much easier because there's still a lot of the world I want to explore.

Happy New Year, Make memories you are proud to keep,
Delaney C.

Alternative Spring Break: El Salvador My Two Cents

The Alternative Spring break offers students an opportunity to work with a non-governmental organization (NGO) in El Salvador over reading week, and travel with a purpose. This program is entering its third year, and I have been lucky enough to travel with the group twice, first as a participant, and again as a student mentor. Projects are community initiated and facilitated by the partnership between the NGO, the UofM, and the sustainability of the project is taken into consideration. Working side-by-side, community members determine the most efficient and effective way to utilize the natural environment and skills of everyone working on the project. Upon arrival, students pull on their work boots, throw on some gloves and pick up a shovel.

However the focus of this program is on sharing information, experiences, and compassion; about learning from each other, and from yourself; about getting an introduction to development, to non-governmental organizations, and a new culture, NOT just on creating something tangible that will remain for decades (although that is one component).

Being able to participate in this program in two very different capacities, and return to the community a year after the UofM’s initial visit has been a tremendous opportunity that I am very lucky to have been able to experience. An often understated part of this program is the individual impact participation can have. To the individuals who have participated, the Facebook profile picture isn’t of a foreigner and a local but rather of two new friends. The school supplies collected by elementary school students in Canada who have never met their Southern recipients, doesn’t show the attempt of two people from two very different places accepting each other for who they are with empathy and compassion.

Upon return students share photos and stories with their friends and family exposing them to a reality they might be unaware of and in turn inspiring them to get involved (in some capacity or another). However, pictures [see picture above] don’t show how a two-week experience can lead to a lifetime of engagement and participation. I look back over the emails, the Facebook messages, and think back to all the long distance phone calls I have received from my new El Salvadorian friends over the last two years, and am still baffled that my brief time in El Salvador has transpired into friendships that will last a lot longer than my time spent in country.

The Alternative Spring Break program has a five year plan that began last year with the initial preparation of a two and a half acre plot of land alongside members of an agrarian cooperative with future plans to develop an education centre, further organic development as well as marketing strategies which will hopefully be accomplished through the joint collaboration of the University of Manitoba and the Community Based Organization (CBO) and NGO based in El Salvador.


Experiences that engage and inspire while creating interest are a fundamental way to generate and spread awareness, and are crucial to encourage global citizenship. When people are inspired they do great things and it’s important to remain ambitious. To continue to change how much you’re willing to push the envelope and to always challenge the status quo—as cliché as that is, and to demand more from yourself, and from those around you.

-Delaney C.

Trendy Activism VS Sustainable Activism

There seems to be a tendency for people to get involved in causes for short periods of time because of what they just saw on t.v, a good book they just read, or a great speaker they had the pleasure of speaking with. Whatever cause is in front of them they take on, jumping from band wagon to band wagon buying ‘Green is the New Black’ water bottles and ‘I heart the Planet’ t-shirts after listening to Gwyn Dyer. Immediately giving up anything that isn’t Fair Trade after watching Black Gold, becoming a vegan after watching PETA videos and making radical changes immediately following said enlightenment. I would be interested in talking to those people in 3-weeks (in 6-weeks, in 3-months, 6-months, a year) when they aren’t basking in their inspirational hangover. Would they still be an aggressively opposed to these behaviours? Have they refrained from eating meat all this time? Are they still ‘green’?

I think this form of social activism is trendy. It follows the media’s influence and doesn’t lead to sustainable lifestyle changes. In my experience this kind of trend driven activism is alright…but it’s not great. Issues that need attention get a little bit of light, but it’s not enough to make any significant changes. Its all good that you are now aware that your coffee’s journey starts long before you walk up to the counter to order it, but then what? Its great that you’re now aware of the impact you are having on the environment and are but its more of the…well what now that makes me a bit frustrated. Now you realize there is an issue at hand….but how do you sustain that and do something about it? Thinking about Haiti for example makes me a bit mad. Not to mock the seriousness of the disaster…but I want to know where these people, who are inviting me to hundreds of socials and willing to donate their funds were two years ago?!? And where will they be in six months when the media is no longer paying so much attention. Just because the camera is off doesn’t mean we can care any less.